Jokes

Did you hear about the guy who only believed 12.5% of the Bible?

He was an eighthiest.

Tom, is a huge Aston Villa fan! He made a bet (£100) with his Birmingham City gf, Sharon that his team WOULD BE Premier League Champions this year - 2026

Looks like Tom's plan has backfired on him...

Bob told his plants he loved them.
Now they are rooting for him.

I walking home when I saw an apple Pie walking down the road, then a Jam doughnut, and finally a cheesecake
Then it occurred to me...
The street was desserted

Adam and Eve were the first people to scroll past Apple’s terms and conditions.

I told my suitcase we’re not going on holiday this year.

Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

Bob's wife threatenied to leave him because he was too arrogant.

He told her to close the door on her way back in.

A Silly Mother’s Day Story funny joke story

So, it’s Mother’s Day morning, and Jamie decides he’s going to surprise his mum with breakfast in bed. He’s determined to make it perfect — he’s watched two YouTube videos, skimmed a recipe, and feels basically like Gordon Ramsay now.

He tiptoes into the kitchen at 6am, ready to cook.

Five minutes later:
The smoke alarm is screaming, the toast is blacker than his future student loan debt, and somehow the orange juice has pulp even though it said “no pulp” on the bottle.

Mum wakes up, walks into the kitchen, sees the chaos, and just smiles that “I love you but also… why?” smile.

Jamie panics and blurts out:
“Mum! Happy Mother’s Day! I made you… a memory.”

She laughs, hugs him, and says:
“Sweetheart, next year… just get me a card.”

And that’s how Jamie learned the most important Mother’s Day lesson of all:

Sometimes the best gift is not setting the kitchen on fire.

This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom.

He said it was the best trade he's ever made