Jokes

Managed to fill the tank for £50 earlier. Pretty cheap considering current circumstances.

That's the lawnmower sorted for a couple of months.

A stoned hippie tourist flies into Australia for a holiday.

The immigration officer looks at him and asks, “Have you ever been convicted of a crime?”

Stoned tourist replies, “Is that…is that still a requirement to enter Australia?”

A guy says to his therapist, “Before I got involved with drugs, I had a loving family, a nice house, and a decent car.”

The therapist says, “And now?”

And the guy says, “Now I also have a private jet and a yacht.”