Jokes

How many business consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nobody knows, they're still doing a cost-benefit analysis....

My father always used to say, “In life, one door might close, but another one will open.”

He was a great philosopher. But an awful cabinet builder.

What’s the difference between a female erogenous zone and car keys?

Men can actually find their car keys.

Who is the highest ranking officer at a ticketed event?

General Admission.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

Poor Jack. He took a Viagra pill which got stuck in his throat. Now he has a stiff neck.

I'm sceptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day, that's a bit of a stretch.

The world champion tongue twister got arrested,

I hear they’re going to give him a tough sentence.

How did the nucleus escape from prison?

Through the cell wall.

My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name, so I called her Bluff.