The Random Life of Snooks and no girlfriend (by choice)

Today Snooks has been a complete lard arse. Delighted that he could behave like a total slob by virtue of not having a girlfriend or wife and therefore avoiding arguments over

1. Who puts the bins out
2. Who has the remote control
3. Whether the toilet seat should be up or down in the bathroom
4. How his money is spent

And having absolute freedom to

1. Be lazy
2. Talk to himself on the basis he gets a whole lot more sense out of himself than any other fucker
3. Swear repeatedly about things
4. Have a wank as and when he feels like it
5. Be an absolute cunt in the privacy of his own home
6. Eat and drink everything unhealthy he can possibly find

Text the words 'IDLE CUNT' to 69699 and for 2 trillion credits you can get a video of Snooks rolling his eyes at the sight of Mrs P having an argument with Mr P about some random piece of nonsense .

Further updates may or may not follow depending on whether Snooks can actually be arsed.



Independence. It's a wonderful thing

Great spoof thread, with a clever ironic juxtaposition regarding the non-fiction/fiction aspects.

Today Snooks went to work and spent most of the day scratching his head in utter confusion at all sorts of nonsensical claptrap from a variety of sources .

Since then he has arrived home to find a load of junk mail delivered through the letterbox in such a large pile it was a struggle to open the front door .

Thanks to deliberately not having a girlfriend or wife Snooks has avoided criticism that the junk mail wasn't tidied up earlier as well as the inevitable question about whether her bum looks big in this or that item of clothing.

This evening Snooks feels completely fucked and has ordered a takeaway on the basis that cooking tea is too much like hard work and he's done enough of that to last a month in one day!!

Text the word 'FUCKED' to 69345 to sum up how Snooks is feeling and you shall receive a video of Mr P and Mrs P having an argument about whether Keir Starmer should stay or go while watching a faulty vibratoy rattle around the Babestation floor. That's all for now.

What a completely unbelievable thread

(12-05-2026 19:28 )Tumble_Drier Wrote:  What a completely unbelievable thread

Yes, yes I know.
The notion that Snooks has no girlfriend or wife bearing in mind he is clearly God's gift to women is clearly absolutely and completely unbelievable .

Snooks reserves the right to deliberately not be God's gift to women on the basis it may or may not be more hassle than it's worth to be so .

1. Who puts the bins out (we have staff who put tge bins out)
2. Who has the remote control most tv come with 2 remote control these days)
3. Whether the toilet seat should be up or down in the bathroom (we have 4 bathroom so)
4. How his money is spent ( has to much money could not possibly spend it all)

Do you have anymore questions?

Nah a sense of my own humble reality is enough thanks.

(12-05-2026 20:15 )Snooks Wrote:  

(12-05-2026 19:28 )Tumble_Drier Wrote:  What a completely unbelievable thread

Yes, yes I know.
The notion that Snooks has no girlfriend or wife bearing in mind he is clearly God's gift to women is clearly absolutely and completely unbelievable .

Snooks reserves the right to deliberately not be God's gift to women on the basis it may or may not be more hassle than it's worth to be so .

We all know you've got a succession of different babes breaking your door down night after night (ever considered Professional Security ? ) in order to get some of that Special Snooks Lovin'

They can't resist you after a good old phone session, you Silver Tongued Devil.

Today Snooks has been sweating his bollocks off with regular bouts of cursing about the fact that it's too f#ckng hot. Further such behaviour likely to ensue for the rest of the week as he tries to find room in the freezer to sleep.

Snooks has got two tower fans and a desk fan pointing directly at him on full blast.
Thankfully due to not having a girlfriend Snooks has avoided unhelpful comments such as "all you're doing is blowing hot air around the room" and "these tower fans are cluttering up the living room".

End of update.

(12-05-2026 23:52 )Michael2121 Wrote:  1. Who puts the bins out (we have staff who put tge bins out)
2. Who has the remote control most tv come with 2 remote control these days)
3. Whether the toilet seat should be up or down in the bathroom (we have 4 bathroom so)
4. How his money is spent ( has to much money could not possibly spend it all)

Do you have anymore questions?

But living your life in constant fear that a murderer is going to come in through your window and kill you