Jokes

Two old men are sitting on a bench. A truck passes on the road. It is pulling a trailer loaded with turf.

One of the men says, "See, that's what I will do when I win the lottery."

"What?" asks the other one confused.

"I will send my grass away for cutting!"

A baby camel was born at the zoo last week and the poor thing had no hump...

So they named him Humphrey.

I never understood odorless candles, they don’t make scents.

What do you call it when a robot changes the direction of a spaceship?

R2 Detour.

The Yeast Club meeting is called to order.

All rise.

Why didn’t the cheese family get robbed?

Because they lived in a grated community.

"I like my women how i like my whisky.
Twenty years old, and mixed with coke...."

A doctor was examining his newest patient

As testing went on, the doctor said "I'm not quite certain what's wrong with you yet, but I think it may be the result of heavy drinking."

So the patient said "That's OK, Doc- I'll just come back when you're sober!"

The newest form of birth control is putting a rock in one shoe...

...It makes you limp.